By Deborah Rozman, PhD
In a world of increasing separation, divisiveness, and stress, the need for kindness has never been greater. Kindness is a heart feeling that transcends distinctions of race, gender, education, religious or political preferences, and income. Kindness recognizes the inherent goodness in people and strives to bring it to light. Kindness is love in action—a powerful heart vibration that deepens our connections with each other.
Numerous research studies have shown many benefits from kind acts—for both the giver and the receiver of kindness. Studies reveal that kindness can be contagious, with those who receive kindness being more likely to be kinder and more generous as a result [1]. A World Kindness Day 2024 presentation reported that one act of kindness often led a recipient to extend five acts of kindness to others. Dr. Robin Banerjee, founder of the University of Sussex Center on Kindness Research, responded, “The point being made here is that an act of kindness can have a ripple effect, via the effects on those receiving the kindness and via the benefits to well-being for those giving the kindness, and even on those simply observing/noticing the kindness. Thus, it could even be a lot more than 5!!”
This is what movements such as “Pay It Forward” and “Random Acts of Kindness” envision to help people make kindness the norm during these transitional times. A December 2024 article in Optimist Daily titled “The large power of small acts of kindness: Science backs up how small acts of kindness can create global change” reported, “In a society fraught with political divisions, global crises, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, it’s easy to believe that individual efforts are insignificant. However, research increasingly shows that tiny acts of compassion and connection can have far-reaching societal repercussions.”
Psychologists and researchers “have discovered that these tiny acts—whether a kind remark, a moment of understanding, or a gesture of solidarity—can promote empathy, dispel preconceptions, and even challenge large-scale social challenges such as discrimination.” [2] The article goes on to say, “The impact of these little acts extends beyond individual relationships, resulting in what psychologists refer to as an upward spiral of compassion—a positive feedback loop in which compassionate behaviors encourage social growth. Compassionate changes at any level—personal, interpersonal, or structural—can cause long-term alterations.” [3]
Mental and Physical Health Benefits of Kindness
Kindness studies over several decades demonstrated these benefits:
- Less stress
- Longer lifespan
- Improved cardiovascular system
- Increased energy
- Improved immune system
- Lower risk for depression
- Stronger relationships
- Better performance at work and school
Even witnessing acts of kindness on TV or social media has been shown to uplift mood, increase altruism, and promote connection to others [4]. In laboratory studies, viewers watching kindness media had increased levels of oxytocin (often called the ‘love hormone”), which promotes bonding and lowers blood pressure. Oxytocin also increases self-esteem and optimism while decreasing stress and emotional reactivity. Participants experienced a transcendent sense of being connected to others and became significantly more generous.
Simply watching kind and caring actions also induced prosocial behaviors that bolstered resilience. “Prosocial behavior” is a term sociologists use to describe acting kindly, cooperatively, and with compassion toward others. Another study found that an individual offering a single act of kindness each week reduced loneliness, social isolation, and social anxiety.
In other words, kindness is not just a nice thing to do. The economic cost of stress, burnout, loneliness, and incivility is enormous these days, costing billions of dollars annually. The need for simple acts of kindness is enormous.
So Why Isn’t There More Kindness in the World?
We suggest one reason is because people have to choose kindness and choose to do something kind. The choice to be kind is an act of care from the heart, which activates the neurophysiological, hormonal, and social benefits.
Create, Don’t Wait
The saying “Create, Don’t Wait” means become the change you want to see. Don’t wait for something to change or wait for someone to be kind to you. Create being kind to others and enjoy the cascade of benefits that kindness brings. This is a key reason why practicing gratitude has become so popular in the past few years. Gratitude is a heart feeling that uplifts the spirit and reduces stress, along with providing similar health benefits as kindness. Many people suggest keeping a gratitude journal. Or before bed, think of 3 things you were grateful for that day. However, to experience the benefits, practicing gratitude has to be genuine. If gratitude becomes rote or mechanical, it can feel like a chore rather than something that engages the heart.
Empathy and Compassion
Empathy and compassion are heart feelings that receive the most attention in healthcare settings [5]. Empathy is resonating with another’s emotions. Compassion is deep care and understanding of what another may be experiencing. What’s most important is to increase the genuine heart feeling as we practice kindness, gratitude, empathy, or compassion. This makes the practice more authentic, which greatly increases its power and effectiveness, especially in highly stressful times.
While this article has focused primarily on choosing kindness, each heart quality, such as gratitude, compassion, care, patience, forgiveness, respect, etc., is a jewel in the heart that we can benefit from choosing to practice. They are all aspects of love. Starting with kindness often helps jump-start our practice of other heart qualities as we experience the intelligence of doing it.
Here’s an approach to practicing kindness that many people find helpful:
- Start by choosing 1 or 2 acts of kindness to give others each day. Make this genuine. It can be something simple, such as a smile, holding the door open for someone, a kind word, a kind question, offering a listening ear, etc. People often do these gestures, but they can become mechanical. Remember that to gain the maximum benefits from a kind deed, a genuine heart feeling needs to be present. That’s how the recipient feels the kindness.
- You can start by choosing 1 or 2 acts of kindness each day, but there’s nothing wrong with 3 or 4 or more. The number doesn’t make the difference. It’s our sincerity and genuineness that provide the greatest wholeness effect because it comes from who we truly are inside.
- Make up your own practices. Make it fun and not just a mental exercise. When you put your heart into it, ideas will come easily.
Practicing kindness, gratitude, compassion, connection, and other heart qualities can serve as the force that can support heart and love to go viral. The practice of heart qualities is what opens us to our heart’s intelligent guidance, which is so needed during these times. This will help us become the change we want to see and contribute to a ripple effect that can facilitate global transformation and well-being.
[1] https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/mental-health-benefits-simple-acts-of-kindness
[4] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.591942/full
